I’m asked a lot about how to make good friends as an adult.
You know, after college, or after you are not squeezed into a work environment, class, or other situation with people who may automatically become your friends because of proximity or common bonds.
If you are my Facebook friend, you probably know I’m VERY social.
I feel pictures with fun people doing fun things are the BEST souvenirs and the best way to document your life.
It’s vital, in my opinion, to have friends and I’ve talked with SO many women who don’t. No excuses. Let’s do this! You deserve to have “people.” ?
Where To Meet New Friends
My favorite place to meet new friends for any age is Meetup.com groups.
You sign up (often for free) and meet other people for an activity you all enjoy.
Cooking, bowling, sailing, hiking, dogs, kids, knitting, networking, bicycling, snorkeling, running, walking, touring, travel, singles, movies, you name it!
My city has thousands of groups. Check your area to see what is available.
I’ve been in a sailing group for over 10 years and the majority of my current friends have been made somehow by way of that group or someone in that group!
Introverts & Personality Styles
If you are introverted, guess what… they have groups for introverts in San Diego so check the website and see if they might have some in your area too.
Certain personality styles like a lot of friends and some like just a couple so avoid letting someone else tell you how many you should have.
The Importance Of Friends & Relationships
EVERY woman in a relationship needs outside friends! I don’t mean they are outside in your backyard (LOL), but outside of your relationship. Emotionally healthy women to invest time with away from your man.
It makes for a much more rounded life if he isn’t your everything. That’s waaaaay too much pressure to put on him and it’s not fair at all!
Yes, he needs emotionally healthy (as opposed to negative and tragic) man friends too!
People must WANT to hang out with you. You can’t HAVE a friend unless you can BE a friend.
7 Tips for making friends:
- Be fun – have a lightheartedness about you. People have enough stress and friend time (although supportive during challenges) needs to be FUN.
- Be interesting – know about things other than the latest tragedy so that you can enjoy great conversations with like-minded people.
- Be happy – if you feel down, do your own work first before polluting a friendship. I know, strong word, huh? Here’s an article I wrote on the topic that was syndicated on YAHOO! Here it is on YourTango. Or you can read it here, on the Positive Women BLOG.
- Be positive – remember, positive means CERTAIN, and decisive, not happy all the time because that’s unrealistic. Talk about empowering things that feel good rather than bring you down.
- Be supportive – one-way friendships are draining. Be sure you are ready to BE a good friend before you expect to have a good friend. You will both need support at different times. Be sure you are “available” to a friend.
- Be selective – no need to settle for mismatched friends. Keep “dating” prospective friends until you find a good fit. A wrong one is worse than none at all! (More next week on THAT.)
- Be strong – as in healthy boundaries that you enforce. Know your values and stick with people who are emotionally healthy to be around.
Like anything else you get good at, making friends and being a good friend takes practice.
Keep in mind as you grow personally, your friends change unless they are growing at the same pace. Or at least you will pick up some new ones who are in alignment with where you’re going instead of where you’ve been. Ever “outgrown” anyone?