Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking Not Working? Follow These 3 Steps


You have been thinking positive about your relationship and it isn’t getting any better; or about losing weight but you’re gaining instead; or about a toxic coworker changing her ways and being nice and it’s just not happening.

If you haven’t gotten results from positive thinking, you’re in good company …and it’s not your fault. We don’t get results from positive thinking alone other than a few seconds of surface-level bliss, if that.

Truth is, we live at a deeper level and a perky affirmation on Facebook or Twitter probably isn’t going to create lasting improvement in our life. And not being able to make something as simple as thinking positive work is frustrating and dents our self-confidence.

But there is a good reason why thinking positive alone doesn’t work and a solution to ignite its power. Thinking is only half of the equation. What ignites changes in your life is the feeling that accompanies the thought.

When you struggle with something and think positively about it while underneath your emotions are pain, anger, fear or guilt (just to name a few), those emotions (full of energy) create your results, not your thoughts.

Words, thoughts and actions are wrapped in emotion based on our past experience so they have the potential to work against us and cause more anxiety.

For example, think of the words: money, relationship, homelessness and hunger. You can think about solutions all you want but if these words cause you to feel bad, scared, sad or angry, your thoughts won’t make a difference, those emotions will.

In fact, you can do more damage because you’re flowing more negative energy toward the problem.

Quick Tip About Energy

Everything in the Universe is made up of energy, which vibrates at a certain frequency and magnetizes everything else at that same frequency. Emotions pack a wallop of energy either positive (high frequency – fast vibrating) or negative (low frequency – slower vibrating).

Negative emotions (whether you are aware of them or not) magnetize other negative circumstances back to you. Positive emotions magnetize other positive circumstances back to you.

You have to align your conscious (thinking) mind and your subconscious (feeling) mind in order to change circumstances in your life, business, health and relationships. Otherwise you will be thinking one thing and feeling another and the feelings will always win, whether you’re aware of them or not.

3 Steps To Align Your Minds & Become Conscious Of Your Feelings

  Step 1: Think about what you want.

When I ask people what they want they give me their masterpiece list of don’t-wants. It can take several times of asking them in different ways before they stop focusing on don’t-wants and start focusing on what will actually change their life – their wants.

If don’t-wants come up first for you, turn them around into what you’d like instead.

  • If you’re tired of your relationship being stagnate or toxic, how would you like it to be?
  • If you’ve had enough of settling for less than you deserve, what do you deserve?
  • If you dislike your current weight, what number do you want to see on the scale or what size of clothes would you like to comfortably wear?

Step 2: Notice how you feel when you think about your want.

If you feel good you are positively magnetizing. If you feel bad or anything but good, you’re still focused on not having it – a don’t-want – you’re magnetizing negatively.

Use your imagination to picture yourself already having what you want with all of your senses involved to make it as real as possible. See it. Feel it. Smell it. Taste it. Touch it. Hear it. After you visualize it, think about it again and notice if you feel different.

You must get to feeling good about it or you will push it farther away.

The reason this creative visualization works is because the subconscious mind absorbs everything as the truth. It will believe your negative self-talk and create you to feel worse about yourself just as it will believe you already have what you want and beginning to create and magnetize your desires.

You subconscious mind is always creating your life based on the feelings you feed it. It’s your best friend when you learn how to use it to your advantage. And you are your own worst enemy if you don’t.

Step 3: Practice focusing your attention on what you want with feeling.

Now practice uninterrupted focus (for 17 seconds or longer) on what you want as if you already have it. Use all of your senses and do it as often as you can.

Be sure you’re feeling only positive emotions. If you feel bad, you’re stuck in not having it yet – a don’t-want – so shift your focus to anything that makes you feel good, take that feeling, and start over. You will improve the more you practice.

Now your conscious and subconscious minds are aligned in your quest for the change you desire and will support you instead of fighting against each other and keeping you stuck.

It’s important to align your energy (thoughts and feelings) throughout the day so that you can stay at the top of your game. Short guided visualization audios work well to keep you positive, grounded and moving in the right direction. They walk you through the process when you may be unable to yourself due to distractions or anxiety. Get my free guided visualization here.

Read this article on YourTango.com by clicking here.

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2 thoughts on “Positive Thinking Not Working? Follow These 3 Steps”

  1. Arletha Skinner

    Hi Kelly,

    When I was going through a divorce, a friend say something very up building to me he said get a vision of what you want and how you would like your life to be.It was very insightful to me. You are right if you are feeling negative and walling in self pity you will continue to receive negative feed back from other bad health. Also, you will become self destructive and get into more negative relationships. Women are very receptive to this after a break-up. We have to channel all that negative energy from a break up or divorce into a power house of positive energy and revamp our lives. After, all we were lovable, whole and desirable before we were married. We did not stop being a individual because we were married.

    1. Arletha, you have grown so much in the years I’ve known you. Your transformation and message are BRILLIANT. Congratulations on stepping into your power. You are much further along than you even realize in your journey of personal development. Thank you for your thoughts and for being the amazing woman you are. 🙂

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