Women, have you noticed that your female friends inspire you to feel bad about yourself, belittle what you do and pressure you to do things that aren’t in alignment with who you are?
Women can be vicious and vindictive or they can be the perfect friend, confidant, and support system. The toxic ones are the “friends” we say we have but know we don’t really have and don’t really want. They are not friends. They are insecure, out of control feeling people with low self-esteem who are looking for a power fix by controlling someone else..
Once we understand what they are up to, getting a power-fix, we can delete them or inspire them to delete themselves from our lives, leaving us much happier, healthier and refreshed feeling to move on to real friends!
Toxic “Friend” Characteristics:
- Inspire you to feel bad about yourself
- Complain about everyone
- Blame their lack of success, money, relationships on everyone else
- Pressure you to do things they know you don’t want to do
- Criticize you, what you do, or things you like
- Are always unhappy
- Have unhappy relationships
- Are never satisfied
- Have very few friends
- Condescending and critical of others
3 Steps To Strengthen Yourself to Exit Toxic Friendships:
- Determine what is acceptable to you – write down what you value: honesty, respect, love, etc.
- Determine what is unacceptable to you – what angers, hurts or saddens you: put-downs, peer pressure, being blamed for something you didn’t do, etc.
- Get ready to enforce your new personal boundaries – determine what you will do and or say when your toxic friend crosses the line (boundary lines you established in Steps 1 and 2) and practice in front of a mirror.
How To Exit Toxic Friendships:
Verbal Personal Boundary Enforcement: State the facts without emotion – “I don’t feel good about myself when I am around you and I’ve decided that we aren’t a good fit anymore.” Or “I feel very uncomfortable when you are critical of others so often and I’ve decided to move on to more positive friends.” Or “I’m going to move on to more positive friends who I feel good about myself around. Our friendship seems to have run its course.”
Physical Personal Boundary Enforcement: If you’re together, walk away when she starts criticizing or gossiping. If you’re on the phone, hang up. Stop taking and returning phone calls, texts, voice mails, emails. Be busy instead of making time for her even if the plans are with yourself. You should be your own best friend anyway.
Gutsy moves? Yes! You have to have guts to stop being used as a doormat or power fix for weak people.
When you really take a look at how you’ve allowed (trained) people in your life to treat you, you will see that you gave your power away many times. Get it back by standing your ground and empower other women to do so as well!
Read this article at EzineArticles “Women – Need To Delete A Toxic Friend And Don’t Know How? Here’s How” by clicking the link. 🙂
Have YOU allowed a toxic friend in your life? Comment and share…