You know those times when you’re feeling pretty good about yourself and then you end up in a disagreement or misunderstanding with someone and you start to feel your self-confidence spiraling downward?
Protecting your confidence while building it is vital and can be tricky because sometimes the smallest thing can send you into a tailspin of self-doubt and negative self-talk. So, I’m sure having some effective strategies would be appreciated, right?
I’ll share one of my favorites, which is gaining a basic knowledge of personality styles.
When you know what makes someone tick – and more specifically that it may be completely different from what makes you tick – your perspective shifts, which eliminates most conflicts. It’s a great way to reduce the pain, blame and drama that drags you down and threatens your self-esteem. And it can literally improve every communication and relationship in your life. It’s that good.
Here’s how Personality Styles work…
While it’s true past experience plays a big part in our reactions, we also have specific traits that accompany our core personality styles. And most peoples’ styles are quite simple (and fun) to pinpoint with some basic understanding and a little practice.
Here’s an example of two different styles and the conflict that could occur. See if this reminds you of anyone…
One style is spontaneous and likes to jump in with both feet if something sounds fun. The other needs all the details and time to think before deciding. If you are in a friendship, romantic or work relationship with someone so opposite of you in your decision-making process, can you see where problems could arise? One of you is irritated in the time it takes the other to make a simple decision and they feel it’s irresponsible of you to not gather all the info first.
What if you two were in an emergency? It would be important to act fast and have details to avoid greater danger so together you balance each other out. And do you want a spontaneous person or a detail person doing your taxes or surgery?
What if you need someone with a big, bright magnetic personality to represent your company or grow your online following? You would want the spontaneous, life of the party, comfortable in front of a crowd person, right?
So you can see there are excellent qualities in each style. Conflict arises when we’re not aware of the differences and get upset because the other person doesn’t respond the way we think they should or the way we would.
Here’s a common example of how personality styles affect romantic relationships.
Let’s say you are a person who likes to keep things to yourself and process them on your own and your partner is always telling you to talk it out? That may be their style but it’s more uncomfortable for you than the problem itself. The added stress causes you to feel disconnected and threatens your relationship.
When you both understand these differences are simply personality style related, you can have more certainty in your relationship by allowing each other to process in your own way and uncover a deeper, more meaningful and peaceful relationship.
I’ve shared two examples to illustrate how powerful this strategy is and I want to give you a simple one-page profile sheet to help you get started protecting your confidence while preventing conflicts and better understanding those that may still occur. You will find yourself feeling more empowered in all areas of your life and that is the biggest confidence-builder of them all.