Workplaces, public establishments, governments, schools, and almost everything else we can think of have policies; but as women, one of the mistakes we make that give our power away is failing to establish and enforce our own personal policies called personal boundaries.
Personal boundaries have a great deal to do with locating and protecting our inner power – the very thing that fuels women but is so often missing due to the mistakes we make that give this power away. Therefore, we seek that boost, comfort and support from others of questionable self-esteem and motives themselves.
3 Reasons We Fail To Establish And Enforce Personal Boundaries:
- Fear of what people will think and say when we tell them how we want to be treated
- Feeling unworthy of the treatment we desire and think we’re getting what we deserve
- A lack of role models who’ve shown us the benefits of personal boundaries
There may be many other reasons but these three are very common.
Step 1 – Establish Personal Boundaries: Realize that your life and body and inner power belong to you and you must protect them with personal boundaries. Decide what is acceptable and unacceptable to you and make lists of both.
Example – Is it acceptable or unacceptable for people to:
- Use foul language when speaking to you
- Touch you when you haven’t invited them to
- Attempt to persuade you when you say “No”
- Smoke cigarettes in your presence
- Speak to you disrespectfully
- Make jokes at your expense
- Drive recklessly when you’re in their vehicle
Establish your boundaries when you have clear thought and feel emotionally stable so they are healthy and make sense.
Step 2 – Enforce Personal Boundaries: Determine what you will say and do when someone gets close to or crosses your boundary; because they will.
Example – When someone speaks to me disrespectfully I will:
- Tell them I require respect when being spoken to
- Let them know their language or tone is unacceptable and share how I want to be spoken to
- Turn and walk away quietly
Remember: Establishing and enforcing personal boundaries is much easier when you first meet someone. Enforcing boundaries with people already in your life who disrespect you will straighten up or leave your life. Those who truly care about you will respect you even more!
Protect your value, emotions and inner power by establishing and enforcing personal boundaries. You will see your life change for the better immediately!
Read this article at YourTango
Which area of YOUR life could benefit from healthy personal boundaries? Leave me a comment.
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2 thoughts on “Women: 5 Mistakes We Make That Give Our Power Away: Mistake 2 – Failure To Set Personal Boundaries”
Wow, I sure needed more personal boundaries in my life and then you showed me how to do them in one of your Personal Safety Seminars about 6 years ago. What a change in my life! I notice how easy it is to enforce them now but in the beginning it was a bear. I think confidence comes with practicing and the clarity of who really is my friend and who is not is now one of my very favorite reasons to HAVE personal boundaries! Thanks, Kelly! It’s been fun to see your growth over the years. 🙂
Oh, thank you Bryn! This topic is one of my favorites from my Personal Safety Trainer days because it IS so powerful (or PWRful as Positive Women Rock says, LOL). I know men, teens and kids as well as women that this one thing has been a game-changer for. I’m happy that you’ve stuck with me! I have quite a few safety clients still hangin’ out with me. 🙂