Positive women love to have female friends but we also need a detailed list of what we’re looking for just like we do when we’re looking for an ideal significant other.
Drama queens need not apply and whiny victims can keep on walking because what positive women need for friends are other positive women!
Negative women drag us down even when we do our best to “help” them to be happier or more positive. YOU need healthy friends and I dare say you probably need to delete some of your current ones for reasons you know whether you acknowledge them or not.
Would YOU pass your own female friend test?
In order to be a friend to a positive woman, you need to be one already. Otherwise, you will drag them down if you attract them into a friendship at all.
NOTE: Many positive women have evolved from “victim” or “drama queen,” having done a lot of work on themselves. But just like looking for a significant other, we don’t need another “project.” We need a good, intelligent, supportive, friend who we can be intelligent, supportive and good to as well!
Here are some characteristics I have on my female friends list:
- Understand anger, frustration and pain must be processed instead of glossed over
- The ability and willingness to call me on my stuff (which helps me grow)
- Takes responsibility for her life instead of blaming and complaining
- Lives in daily gratitude
- Good sense of humor
- Accountable / Dependable (this comes with taking responsibility for her life)
- Realizes an effective pity party is only 20 minutes in length
- Forgives herself and learns lessons from each mistake
- Takes care of herself – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually
- Healthy self-esteem and personal boundaries
- Trusts her gut feelings (intuition)
I know that women are powerful and can create their ideal life and become who they want to become but I also know not all women believe that and even fewer act on it. What I do is assist women to see themselves the way they really are and clarify the steps to become who they can and want to be.
Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts on this topic. I know it can be controversial. I ask you, “Are we really growing forward if we keep going back to where we came from?”
Grow forward with me,
This is such an important idea! So many times we get “stuck” with friends and we think that because we have been friends with them forever, we have to stay friends with them forever.
One of the most powerful things I ever learned was that I can “fire” my friends if they are not bringing me up and supporting me in life. Realizing that I deserve good friends is also a powerful realization. If we are the sum total of the five people we spend the most time with, I am going to be selective in my friends!
If you hang out with turkeys, you will be a turkey. If you hang out with eagles, you will soar!
Great point, Kirsten! I read an article in a magazine at age 24 that gave permission for friendships to have a lifespan and they weren’t always “for life.” They are relationships, like any other. I have recalled that article many times in the past 25 years and it has allowed me to “clean house” a couple times per year of people in my life who are draining my energy. Being more selective since then has also helped tremendously! Thank you for your feedback!
My left coast girlfriend and confidant – “YOU TOTALLY ROCK!”
This article is so very true because I had to discard many “basement” people during this short time on this amazing earth! The “balcony” friends still stand and I frolic in their space and them in mine.
I love what Kirsten has to say – if you hang out with the turkeys you become a turkey but if you hang out with the eagles you will also soar!
Thank you for being a “balcony” friend to me and one of these days, I’m heading to San Diego to actually meet you!!!!!
In love, light and bliss,
Nancy
Hey, right coast girlfriend! Our conversations always improve my life and THAT is what a true friend provides! Love you! Kelly
Hi Kelly
I agreed with Nancy. I have in my life unloaded a few turkeys and drama queens. I
believe Galatians 6:5 tells us to carry our own load, thus not weighing others down.
We as women should empower, inspire and enable other women to reach their goals.
Arletha
Thank you, Arletha. 🙂